Step One: Day 5
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Step One Devo Day 5
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DAY FIVE
Behold Part 2
Mark 9-10
Yesterday, you learned about the importance of “beholding” the presence of Jesus in your life. Today, you take an inward turn because becoming like Jesus doesn’t only mean seeing new things about him, but about yourself as well. This is perhaps a more challenging type of “beholding” since it requires looking with deliberate courage at what you have spent a lifetime deliberately avoiding! The mess of your life.
Your mess. Can you see your life this way?
It will take some humility, that’s obvious. What might not be as obvious is it will take some honesty. Honesty about the tricks you play on yourself which keep you from looking at your life.
The first trick is comparison.
You have avoided looking at your mess by comparing yourself to people who are messier than you. Already they are coming to mind. Rather than admit your mess you are right now comparing yourself to some sexually deviant heroin addict who kills penguins in his spare time. This makes you feel less messy.
Your second trick is distraction.
You avoid looking at your mess by establishing patterns in your lives that distract you from the areas of life which are out of control, disappointing, or hurtful to others. You get yourself looking everywhere but in the mirror.
To become like Jesus means to see distraction and comparison as the tricks they are to keep you from confessing the reality of your life.
You need to confess your mess. This is absolutely necessary because Jesus has never met anyone except where they are at. No pretending. Only humility. You simply give up. You stop running. You don’t want this anymore. You look at your life. Behold.
Now listen, don’t confuse “beholding” with behaving. Yes, you have looked at your life and admitted where it is broken, but you haven’t changed a darn thing yet. You haven’t cleaned up your room. You just admitted it’s a mess. Behaving comes later. Don’t worry about what happens next or about how inadequate you feel to clean things up once you admit they are a mess.
What happens next is not up to you. It is up to Jesus. Here is what he does after you confess. He forgives.
He doesn’t rub your nose in the mess, he puts his hand on your chin and lifts up your head. He lifts your weary head and smiles at you. You realize he isn’t intimidated by your mess even if you actually are the sexually deviant heroin addict with the penguin killing hobby.
He has seen worse, he has saved worse.
Remember, this is a man who turned the messiest and ugliest kind of death into the purest and boldest resurrection life. You are in good hands. To truly behold is to see his majesty and your mess together.
His majesty is his ability to take care of your mess.
Journal:
1. Admiration
2.Prayer for family and friends
3.Confession: write a letter of confession to Jesus. It simply begins “Jesus I am sorry for…..” and then it will flow. Once you are done, ask him to forgive you – he will! And then wait for the hand on your chin or some other kind of tangible reassurance.
Calibrating prayer:
Jesus, it is hard for me to not hide behind comparisons and distractions. I am scared because I fear you will not like what you see when you really look at me. It was hard for me to remember and confess my sin just now. Please care for me in a special way. In my rawness and vulnerability, I wait for something special from you.